Well. We survived our travels.
But only just !!!
that the Crew is back from all points and back in our usual places of
abode, you get another biggie today to celebrate our safe return from all
points global !!
Our trip to Europe for
Europe in Prague and to meet with other people in Amsterdam and
London, has brought forward a plethora of ideas and improvements for
CuriousCash, and some exciting new projects - expect some very exciting
updates over the coming weeks detailing much of this for you !
To catch some fun video and pictures of
CuriousTim and CuriousToyBoy throughout Europe, and also some more
pictures and video added to the "Webmaster of the Year" at the Sydney Gay
& Lesbian Mardi Gras and Gold Coast, Phoenix Forum and a brand new section
on ToyBoy's hilarious birthday party in the Philippines, come an visit our
new and improved webmasters functions area by
clicking here !
We have had some MAJOR
server issues with the CuriousCash.com server of late (NOT the paysite
servers I hasten to add !!) and WebmasterDan explains these at length down
Our considerations on
back end systems for affiliates and processing are coming along nicely,
and we would expect to be able to give you some bright news and timelines
in upcoming editions. As you can well imagine, with a false start
after so much planning, we are committed to ensuring we get this right
first time - we are sure you agree with that sentiment and approach !
Now many have been
saying that the traditional summer slowdown in sales is already upon us,
but our CuriousCash performance does not agree ! After record months
in February and then again in March (as reported last issue), April again
was an extremely impressive month, and while it did not reach the heights
of March, it was still better than February, making it our second highest
yield month ever ! Early May indications are that sales are being
maintained and are not dropping as many others have reported theirs doing
- which you just have to happy with !!
After Europe, our
mobile/cell network expansion plans are well placed fro rapid expansion
and we have begun discussions to bring our boys to you live in their own
cam rooms ! We have also spoken about improved processing terms and
new and cutting edge features for our members areas to further enhance our
already strong retention record.
All very exciting and
bodes well for the coming year !
It's good to be back !
The CuriousCash Crew
Come Meet ToyBoy And
Other Biz Brainiacs @ KBlogger !
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DEAR WEBMASTER DAN ....
HAPPENING WITH CURIOUS CASH ??
For the last month or so, we have been in the process of moving
CuriousCash.com (and all that is involved with our infrastructure to
support that) to a new server.
The original Server, in all honesty, has been unreliable from the start
and we have on numerous occasions tried to rectify the issue. After 12
months of patches failing we decided it was time to move. However, moving
has proven extremely difficult.
Due to the unstable nature of the server we have had to deal with constant
transfer fails which has kept the timeline blowing out for this.
Where we are at today is all of the sites from this box are now uploaded
to a new server except for one small part of CuriousCash.com and one other
site. By the end of the week I expect the sites to be running off the new
WHY HAS THIS SERVER BEEN CRASHING ?
Well the exact answer we don't exactly know!
It is either a conflict with software on the server or it is a problem
with some of our code. We have tried to work with the host and we have
actually upgraded this box a few times but the problem does not go away.
We also don't believe it could
be a code issue causing crashes, as all of our scripts are aimed at the
server which actually tracks the revshare (on a separate box) and this
server goes down only about once a year.
It seems to just be one of those
things. It is like in the office here we are 3 computers that are
identical, one never fails, one stuffs up every now and then, and the
other needs formatting and rebuilding every couple of months.
WHAT IS BEING DONE TO FIX IT ?
First if it is the server , then
this will be rectified by the new server we are moving to. It runs
different software so hopefully problems will be overcome.
If it is scripting then this
will be rectified when we launch a new version of CuriousCash running NATS
or MPA3 or similar product. I would expect this to happen in one to two
months depending on integration time.
On top of this we are also working to a complete mirror setup of all of
our sites including Curious Cash so if one Server goes down, hopefully the
other will be up and take its place.
Get those hard questions over to WebmasterDan on
50 Ways To Say “I Love You”
1. “If my heart were a baked potato, I’d serve it to you with extra butter
and sour cream.”
2. “Your terrible personality isn’t so terrible after a few drinks and
even when I sober up, it’s not as terrible as everyone says.”
3. “I’d shave my entire body with a dull, rusty razor blade and take a
vinegar bath for you.”
4. “I am rubber, you are glue, any feelings you have for me bounce off and
stick to you. Ironically, I feel the same way.”
5. “The other day I saw this little girl day drop her whole ice cream cone
on the ground and start bawling. After I stopped laughing, I thought, “I’m
the same way when you don’t call when you say you will.”
6. “I saw you in the morning, on the toilet, and I didn’t run screaming.
7. “Hug me. If you let go -- you lose.”
8. “Umm… like… you and me? Yeah. You and me.”
9. “You are to me what an eye patch and parrot is to a pirate.”
10. “You are the hole in my donut.”
11. “I am the pork, you are the beans.”
12. “You make me want to vomit little chocolate hearts.”
13. “You are my personal parachute.”
14. “If you were a margarita, I’d drink you by the bucket.”
15. “I really like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
16. “If I had my junior high dance to do all over again, I’d lean against
the far wall, stare at you, and hate myself for not asking you if you
liked the punch.”
17. “I don’t love you. I merely enjoy tolerating your existence
18. “I’ll still want to have sex with you even when you’re old, fat, and
19. “You had me at ‘Stop following me’.”
20. “Your farts smell like vanilla.”
21. “We’re a two person chain gang.”
22. ““I am valedictorian of the University of You.”
23. “If you needed a kidney transplant, I’d also throw in a bonus lung.”
24. “The wet, fatty ball of muscle and sinew that pumps my thick, steaming
blood to all of my internal organs starts to beat irregularly when you
come into my line of sight.”
25. “You are to me what Oprah is to mediocre self-help gurus.”
26. “While you’re in the shower, I collect your skin flakes from the
sheets and now I carry them around in this little napkin I keep tied
around my neck.”
27. “You suck! So good.”
28. “If you were frozen in Carbonite and taken by bounty hunters, I’d
gladly disguise myself, infiltrate a fortress of intergalactic gangsters,
threaten them with a thermal detonator, and defrost you myself.”
29. “When I was a kid I was kind of stupid and I thought it would be fun
if I stuck a fork in the wall socket and obviously I was thrown across the
room. Well, that shock that made my teeth chatter and my hair fall out?
That’s like you.”
30. “We are totally codependent and I don’t want it any other way.”
31. “This is the “happily ever after” part of the damn fairy tale, dig?”
32. “If you were a handful of genital crabs, I’d never change my
33. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t see other people. I’m just saying I’ll
chase whoever you see out of town with a nail-studded baseball bat.”
34. “I am your blank check. Don’t bounce me.”
35. “Shut your piehole! Okay -- now kiss me with that beautiful piehole.”
36. “If you were in a horrible accident and they put your head in a saline
solution-filled fish tank, I’d feed you, change your water, and carry you
on my back everyday until they built you a kick-ass robot body.”
37. “If given the choice between playing roundball like Michael Jordan or
raising rugrats with you in a trailer park then I’d be the first to stand
in line to buy diapers.”
38. “You’re such a fucking asshole! And so am I. Let’s forgive each other,
get drunk, and screw.”
39. “If I was smart, I’d follow you around like a puppy and never, ever
crap in the corner.”
40. “Not only would I carry you out of the factory and drive away you away
on my sweet chopper… I’d also buy you a beer and a basket of fries.”
41. I wrote you a poem: “You walk in beauty like the night/ which means
you’re the hottest babe in sight/Come home with me so I don’t get in a
fight/I agree with what you said: you are always right.”
42. “I’m a grown up and just face the facts that you’re my security
43. “You don’t know it, but right here, right now, is the point in the
musical montage part of the movie. Let’s split a pretzel and go for a walk
on the footbridge.”
44. “Not only would I die for you, I’d bitch slap Satan a good one, too.”
45.“Look: you’re the only one allowed in my bunker. So go get some
batteries while I’ll clean my shotgun.”
46. “I’m a junky for your instant messages.”
47. “I had the weirdest dream last night: I was waking up just as dawn was
breaking, but instead of the sun rising on the horizon, it was your
glowing face. You were smiling and glowing and it felt to good. Isn’t that
just strange? I have NO idea what that means. Pass the ketchup.”
48. “You’re my best and only naked friend.”
49. “I’d smoke five packs of you everyday and welcome each and every
50. “Let’s set aside cool, ironic detachment for just a moment, shall we?
I love you. Wow… wasn’t that just like lame movie Reality Bites? You’ve
never seen it? It’s awesome… in a totally stupid way.”
How To Be Annoying (A Guide)
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the
people are green, and insist to others that you ''like it that way.''
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.''
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of ''Sweating to the Oldies'' over climactic parts of rental
movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their
complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?''
''What?'' ''Never mind, it's gone now.''
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up!'' and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog ''Dog.''
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back
in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you
don't want to fall off ''in case the big one comes''.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a
can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains,
such as ''Feliz Navidad'', the Archies' ''Sugar'' or the Mr. Rogers theme
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first
in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people
pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play
along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is
necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''
* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in
a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing
awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your
* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it,
announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.